the state of things

 

World Celebrates As New Thomas Hutton Book Announced

by Elvis Shackleton - 11:19 on 30 July 2014

The world received some respite from the neverending, suffocating torrent of bad news this morning when it was announced that the new Thomas Hutton crime thriller, THE BLOOD THAT STAINS YOUR HANDS, will be released by digital über-publishers, Blasted Heath, on 15th October this year.

‘Thank God we’ve got something to look forward to,’ said crime fiction expert Professor Malcolm Connery, of The Glasgow Institute of Special Things. ‘The news is so terribly bleak, one catastrophic disaster after another. Now, at least, people are smiling. And just so long as the war in the Middle East hasn’t spread across the entire planet and killed everyone, and Russia and America haven’t plunged swiftly into all-out nuclear conflict, and 90% of the world’s population hasn’t died from Ebola, and there hasn’t been a catastrophic earthquake or volcano to send a super-tsunami across the globe, wiping out civilisation, or there hasn’t been any one of the other hundred natural or man-made disasters that could destroy humanity, then people are really going to enjoy this. Or, at least, the 0.000000017 per cent of the 7 billion people on earth who read and actually enjoyed the previous two books might. Even then, they’ll have to wait to see if this one’s any good.’

Scientists quoted in the Daily Express believe that reading a Thomas Hutton novel for as little as ten minutes a day can extend your life by up to six years.

THE BLOOD THAT STAINS YOUR HANDS. Out 15th October. Available for pre-order now.


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