the state of things


Leaf Blower Title Change Drama

by Elvis Shackleton - 09:55 on 23 January 2018

News emerged today from Long Midnight Publishing headquarters in Geneva of a change in title for Douglas Lindsay’s upcoming rogue esoteric modernist romance novel. The convoluted and obscure title of The Leaf Blower In The Japanese Ambassador’s Garden has been dropped in favour of the more nuanced BALLAD IN BLUE. Publishing insiders are said to be delighted with the change, with commentators, analysts and pundits all predicting the alteration will add approximately eighteen million units to book downloads.

Publication is set for 26th February 2018.

‘This is exciting news,’ said Dr Ian Shackleton, of the Glasgow Institute of Special Things, ‘and not just for fans of rogue esoteric modernist romance novels. The whole of publishing will be celebrating. It was clear fans were getting confused by the previous title. Now we have pith, pathos and a weighty, attractive melancholy.’

While executives at LMP were unavailable for comment – many are believed to be in attendance at the World Economic Forum in Davos – an unnamed company source admitted that the title change had been the cause of much discussion. ‘To be honest,’ she said in an 8 a.m. phone call, ‘there is only the briefest mention of a leaf blower, nothing happens in the garden, and the Japanese ambassador does not feature in the book at all. When the head of Marketing heard, she was like, Oh, fantastic, that's just great, isn't it? Why don't you just shoot me in the face with bullet made of futility? The title got changed, and now everyone's batting off the same song sheet.'

In a further development, it was revealed that the new cover and accompanying book blurb will be released at 10 a.m. GMT on Wednesday 24th January, when fans, friends of fans and people with nothing else to do are expected to flock to the Internet.

Comment from Markus at 12:36 on 23 January 2018.

so today is the 23rd (although it's actually a Tuesday). Where can I drop my money?

Will there be a livestream of the revelation ceremony?

Why didn't today's Google doodle reflect this event?


CORRECTION: The multi-million dollar cover launch will, of course, take place on the morning of Wednesday 24th January. The article has been corrected, and the staff member responsible for the error has been placed on indefinite leave. More than likely they will never work in publishing again.

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