the state of things


Banjo Watch - Day 11

by Douglas Lindsay - 07:08 on 29 October 2008

Got an e-mail from BobDylan.Com last night. The e-mails arrive with Bob Dylan in the From column, as if Bob himself might have written to you. He’s playing a concert in New York City on 21st November, and only people who visit BobDylan.Com to get the password will be able to buy a ticket. I said to TPCKAM that this could be one of life’s serendipitous moments - like playing a banjo this summer - and that if the Patriots happened to be playing in New York that weekend, it would more or less mean that the planets were in alignment and we ought to be booking our flights there and then. TPCAKM didn’t look convinced. That may have been our marriage certificate she was threatening to rip up, but I wasn’t really paying any attention. Turns out the Patriots are in Miami that weekend. And in fact, they’ve already played in New York this season anyway and won’t be going back. The planets aren’t in alignment after all. They’re completely to cock.

The planets are usually to cock.

The banjo is due today. Another long day sitting with my nose pressed against the window awaits. This time there appears to be a delivery number attached to the delivery, implying a bit more formality to proceedings. Pundits are predicting that the banjo will actually, on this occasion, be delivered. There is a growing sense of excitement. Crowds are beginning to gather and CNN, Fox and the BBC, amongst several others, have stationed television crews outside our house in anticipation of the banjo turning up. ‘Yes, Brian, I can confirm that the banjo arrived at fifteen hundred hours this afternoon. I counted the banjo in, and it never came back out again...’

Tomorrow: Did the banjo arrive? Is Poland’s place at the heart of the EU secure, or is the internationally acclaimed author of mystery and suspense using his diplomatic contacts to try to force Poland into European isolation due to the repeated non-delivery of his stupid banjo?

In other news, it’s halfway through the mid-term break. Kids just don’t get enough school holidays these days, do they?

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