the state of things
Barney Thomson and the Westminster Christmas Massacre
by Douglas Lindsay - 12:04 on 09 November 2009
In 2005 I wrote the on-line daily novel Barney Thomson & The Half-Blood PM, the enduring romantic tale of a Scottish barber and his deaf, mute hunchbacked assistant, roped in to work on the Prime Minister's hair during the run up to the General Election. Some people got murdered, although I can't actually remember who. Tony Blair wasn't one of them.
I've been thinking ever since then that I'd do it again at the next election, even though the Barney novels have pretty much come to an end with The Final Cut. However, short of Comrade Brown prematurely falling on his sword, which presumably he's not going to do*, this is not going to happen until next June.
(*On the subject of Brown not falling on his sword. You wonder why they bother, don't you? The guy is going to lose the next election, and he is currently held up to the opprobrium of the nation, the media and his own MPs with every little thing he does. Who in their right mind would want to do that? It's not even like there's that much power involved. Less influence on the nation that the tabloids and Simon Cowell; foreign policy decided by the US; and most governmental powers ceded to Brussels. Why bother being Prime Minister, when you can't even write a letter, go for a jog, take a pill or watch X-Factor without someone denouncing you or questioning your motives? Funny lot, politicians.)
By next June, I'm not sure what I'll be working on, but it won't be Barney Thomson. Either, a follow-up thriller to Lost in Juarez; some new, off on a different tangent, literary drama kind of thing; a tv script; or working down the cheese mines... So, in order to sate my desire to write a Barney Thomson story, where Barney gets to cut the Prime Minister's hair and lots of people in government get murdered, I've decided to bring forward the on-line literary concept, and to do it this Christmas. What better season that the festive one, to kill off a host of government ministers?
This will not be a follow-on to The Final Cut in any way, more of a stand alone, not part of the series kind of thing. Barney won't die, but everyone else will be pretty much fair game.
Barney Thomson and the Westminster Christmas Massacre, coming to a computer near you. Starting on 1st December 2009, running daily for twenty-five days. The bloodiest advent calendar of the year, twenty-five days of homocidal festive fun.
(Subscribers to the newsletter will receive each day's episode to their in-box. Terms and conditions apply. May contain nuts.)
I actually thought this would be another boring christmas with jingle bells and alien vs predator on christmas eve but them monsters can go home. This xmas's blood-thirst shall be stilled by Barney Thomson again!
That's bloody spiffing!!!
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