the state of things

 

UEFA To Seriously Examine 'Most Shocking Football Decision In History'

by Elvis Shackleton - 09:42 on 20 November 2009

While it looks like FIFA are going to say 'Away and shoite,' to the Irish in their attempt to get Wednesday evening's World Cup qualifier replayed, following Thierry Henry's blatant extra-time handball, the incident has at least allowed the greatest football injustice of modern times to be reviewed.

In the second minute of injury time in the European Championship qualifier between Scotland and Italy at Hampden Park on November 17th 2007, the score stood at 1-1. At this stage, Scotland would still have needed France not to beat Ukraine the following Wednesday, but we all know how rubbish the French are. What happened next stands in its own special place in the ignominious pantheon of ignominious footballing ignominy.

 

Alan Hutton, at his own bye line and about to launch the counter attack that would win the game for Scotland, had his legs cluster munitioned out from under him for all the world like he'd trodden on a land mine. His brutal assailant, hired thug Giorgio Chiellini also fell over, such was the force with which he'd assaulted Hutton. To the astonishment of the crowd and the three billion people watching on television - but not to the astonishment of those who had pre-arranged for Italy to win the match and ensure their qualification - the linesman, Juan Carlos Jimenez, indicated to the referee, Manuel Mejuto Gonzalez, that it was a foul to the Italians. From the resulting free-kick the Italians scored, and Scotland were eliminated.

 

Now, with all the talk of replays due to bad decisions, the Scottish FA are taking the opportunity to ask for this game from November 2007 to be replayed. If the result is reversed, and Scotland win, then obviously the entire European Championships from 2008 will need to be replayed. Everyone, except the Spanish, seem to be happy about this. The fact that the two officials on that fateful evening were both Spanish, surely points to the extent of the extraordinary conspiracy involved in this most shocking of footballing injustices.

 

Gordon Smith, 54, high supremo of Scottish football, made famous by missing a sitter for Brighton against Manchester United in the 1983 FA Cup Final, is optimistic of the chances of getting the game replayed, despite the apparent lack of success of the Irish. 'Well,' said Smith from his grand Highland shooting lodge from where he overseas the rise and rise of Scottish football, 'the Henry handball thing was just football. Footballers use their hands all the time, it was a simple mistake by the ref. But the incident in the Scotland Italy game was, like, much more serious and stuff.'

 

This morning an unnamed UEFA official seemed to be in agreement with Smith. 'For sure, this was the most serious incidence of bad refereeing in the entire history of the game of football. Actually, we are surprised that the Scottish FA have not asked before to have this game looked at. We will give immediate consideration to the request, and should the game be replayed and Scotland win, then naturally Spain will be stripped of their title and the entire Championships reconvened.'

 

Scotland is on the brink of football triumph, and only the anonymous suits of UEFA stand in the way.

 

Meanwhile FIFA insiders have confirmed that they are now looking to replay the 1966 World Cup Final. And we all know why.


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