the state of things

 

Nomination for Mince Advert of the Year (Although it Probably Won't Win)

by Douglas Lindsay - 12:24 on 15 June 2010

Garnier Range - Nutrisse Radiant Blonde Without Ammonia

 

It's not bad in the way the KitKat cross your fingers advert is bad. It's just.... BAD. Look out for the line: It looks so nourished.

 

Is it just a really crap line, which would be undeliverable by anyone, or is it Davina McCall who's rubbish? Could Judi Dench, for instance, look at a model's hair and say, It looks so nourished and sound convincing? Or is the line itself beyond saving, even in the hands of a professional and competent actress?

 

Judi Dench would probably say: Well, it certainly looks nourished, but why on earth you think you need nourished hair, Bond, is quite beyond me...

 

Try it at home perhaps. The next time someone in your house is checking their hair in the mirror and says, Is my hair all right? take a moment and then reply... It looks so nourished... Then duck.

 

Davina McCall may be a competent TV presenter type woman, (although much as she's never read one of my books, I've never seen one of her TV shows), however, in this advert she's out of her comfort zone. Rather than having to stare at the camera and tell you some bumph about nourished hair, she's been put in an acting situation. It doesn't go well; but then, she's been handed an absolute clunker of a script.

 

Something along these lines might have worked a bit better:

 

Nourished? Can't tell. If you'd stop flouncing around and pouting so much, I might be able to see properly.... Aye, well that's better. Hmm.. Well, I don't know if I'd use the word nourished. I mean, you're hair looks all right, I suppose... You know, it's not shite.

 

And then It's Not Shite could become Garnier's new catch phrase, replacing the frankly disappointing Take Care, which is a bit shite in itself as catch phrases go.

 

Comment from Markus at 13:53 on 15 June 2010.
Hahaha!
Garnier's German slogan is "denk an dich" which verbatim translates to something like "think about yourself" but is probably supposed to mean "take care of yourself". Both not as cool as "It's Not Shite".

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