the state of things


Autumn Retreat Continues

by LMP Desk Reporter, Eldon Crayfish - 10:03 on 15 October 2010

1000 Voices - which has recently been voted "blog most likely to incite the reader to eat toast" - will be shutting down for a couple of weeks, while the school holidays break out and the Long Midnight Publishing team continue their autumn retreat in Bandar Seri Begawan.

The Great Six Week Amazon Kindle Project is just about complete, with today the exciting news coming that The Barber Surgeon's Hairshirt has smashed into the Amazon Top 100 Books/Humour/Lawyers & Criminals chart. Yep, that's a chart, and it's the kind of thing that gets LMP Head of Marketing And Obscure Chart Performance, Elvis 'Tom' Shackleton, very excited.

'This is what we're talking about,' said Shackleton from his executive suite in the Ancient City. 'First you make inroads into those kinds of cult, left-field type of charts, and then the next thing you know, everything takes off and you're mounting a hostile takeover of Unilever.'

1000 Voices will return on 1st November, and LMP insiders are promising that the coming season will develop into "the best blog ever". Other projects planned for the coming pre-Yuletide period include:

* preparation of 21 Years On The Back Of Dixie Klondyke's Spanish Guitar for publication in early December

* Enhanced Twitter account activity, bringing it into line with up-to-the-minute best practice new millennium zeitgeistiness

* establishing a Facebook account, forcing Long Midnight Publishing to the forefront of the publishing industry's attempts to overcome the fetid stench of economic downturn

* begin work on a new crime trilogy, featuring the all-new DCI Robert Jericho, with the aim of publishing in spring 2012

* launch takeover bids for HarperCollins, Bloomsbury and Penguin, with the intention of amalgamating them all into one company under LMP entitled LongMidnightHarperCollinsBloomsburyPenguinPublishing

* eat toast

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