the state of things

 

The End of The Bieber Identity

by Douglas Lindsay - 17:16 on 12 April 2011

Two of Two and I went for a haircut this morning. A father/son bonding experience. I instructed the barber to give the boy a short back & sides, but to leave the Justin Bieber hair flick largely intact. Sadly for Two of Two, only one of these strategic haircutting objectives was met, and the Justin Bieber was neutralised. Now when he flicks his head to the side, there's not enough hair, so nothing happens, and he just looks like a simple kid with a bit of a head twitch.


For some reason he blames me for this, rather than the barber. I know this because on three occasions since the de-actualisation of the Justin Bieber, he has said the words, "I hate my hair, so I hate you."

 

There's nowt to make you feel warmer as a parent than that.


The barber had a new assistant in tow, watching his every move, padding around the chair two feet in front of him in her gold lamé trainers. So far she only seems to have sweeping up duties - I believe her name is Igor - but the manner in which she studied every sweep of the razor suggested that she is either:


a. One of these weird barber stalker babes or


b. In training to be a barber.


This real-life Igor has a distinctive haircut of her own, with one side of her head completely shaved, a fetching cut in anyone's book. Or on anyone's head. In Igor's case, it serves to distract the casual customer's attention from her shoes.

 

On the off-chance that this proves indicative of her future haircutting technique, I'll be taking Two of Two with me the next time so that he can get his hair cut in a trial run. He hates me already anyway.


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