the state of things

 

The Pink Ultimatum

by Douglas Lindsay - 14:34 on 16 January 2012

Blasted Heath - the digital publishing equivalent of the Visigoths - are set to launch a new series of books entitled Blasted Shorts, wherein they publish short stories from each of their regular authors. They're going for a standardised cover with a different colour particular to each writer.

Naturally, the colour that each of us Blasted Heath authors is clamouring after is pink. Several blood feuds have already broken out on Twitter over ownership of the colour pink, and there's a rumour spreading across the internet like a pubic rash that at least two Blasted Heath authors have already been murdered over what some are calling The Pink Ultimatum.

I believe that Kyle at Blasted Heath thought he was helping by opening up the Pink Ultimatum to a public vote. However, this has just led to more strife and threats of violence, amid accusations of bullying, vote rigging and a $150m Indian betting scandal.

What started as a bit of harmless fun, has now descended into the greatest publishing crisis since the BBC banned Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code "because it's shite".

'It's completely out of hand,' Stephen Fry was quoted as saying on R4's Today programme this morning. 'Up until now the Heathens have been a lovely bunch of chaps, rubbing along rather nicely. Now there's talk of retribution and murder, and it's all descended into the appalling bloodlust of a Jacobean revenge tragedy. It really is rather tiresome.'

If you click on this link you can vote for which Blasted Heath author you think should be bestowed with Pink, the Excalibur of book cover colours.

Vote for me. The rest of those writers are fucking muppets. Apart from the ones who have been murdered in the last couple of days, who were obviously dear dear friends of mine and really lovely people.


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