the state of things


Douglas Lindsay Discusses THE STAINED GLASS WIDOW On R4 Today Show

by Elvis Shackleton - 13:35 on 01 May 2012

THE CASE OF THE STAINED GLASS WIDOW introduces Detective Chief Inspector Jericho, the latest police officer to join the crowded bunfight of British crime fiction. He will be appearing in the full-length WE ARE THE HANGED MAN very shortly. This morning Douglas Lindsay talked to John Humphreys on the BBC Radio 4 Today show about his new creation.

John Humphreys: So, Douglas Lindsay, you’re introducing a new detective into the world of crime fiction?

Douglas Lindsay: Yes.

JH: Well, thank God! We’ve been needing one of those. The world is crying out for fictional detectives. Oh no, wait a moment… no, it isn’t!

DL: Well...

JH: I mean, why? Why? Britain needs a new fictional detective in the way it needs more unemployment, more austerity and more whiny-assed politicians baying at each other like entitled, petulant children in the House of Commons. What can your detective possibly offer the literary world that the reading public doesn’t already have?

DL: I thought it might be interesting to bring my own unique slant on the…

JH: Blah blah… unique slant… blah… Are you finished?

DL: …

JH: I’m sure our listeners would be delighted to know the details of your “unique slant”.

DL: Well, as a writer, I’m interested in character rather than procedure…

JH: Because no writer has ever done that before. A police procedural without procedure. There’s probably a name for that sub-genre. Oh, wait a minute, that’ll be Inspector Morse. Bloody Midsomer bloody Barnaby. Miss fucking Old Nosy Bitchface Marple…

DL: Well, I don’t think…

JH: And what unique characteristics will DCI Jericho be bringing to the table of the procedure-lite police novel? Is he perhaps a gay, depressive, Namibian dentist who used to play full-back for Accrington Stanley?

DL: Well, he’s depressive.

JH: Of course he is. Presumably you’ve based that part of his character on yourself, because you’re such a miserable tortured writer?

DL: …

JH: Boo-fucking-hoo. You’ll have women sending you their pants in the post now.

DL: I get that anyw…

JH: And I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got time for. Duncan Lindsay thanks for joining us. Now David Cameron or Ed Miliband, which one has the bigger cock, and does it really matter?

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