the state of things
New WE ARE THE HANGED MAN Release Date Set
by Elvis Shackleton - 15:09 on 02 August 2012
The world of publishing breathed a collective sigh of relief today as digital uber-publisher Blasted Heath finally announced 24th August 2012 as the official release date of Douglas Lindsay's WE ARE THE HANGED MAN.
'This is the happiest day of my life,' said an emotional Lindsay, as he addressed the world's media from the official Blasted Heath podium. Weeping tears of joy, Lindsay struggled to get his words out as he continued, 'I've worked so hard for this, it means everything to me. I want to thank Kyle and Al at Blasted Heath, and not forgetting Malky Eight Feet and Giant Nancy. And I wouldn't have been able to do any of it without my beautiful wife and perfect children…' Lindsay then broke down and sobbed, as the journalistic collective backed away, not wishing to intrude into this private moment of euphoria.
The announcement finally dots the t's and crosses the i's in the battle to bring WE ARE THE HANGED MAN to publication, a tumultuous affair that has been waged over the fields of publishing, drawing many into its relentless skirmishes and claiming the lives of over twenty-five editors and marketing staff.
One who has no doubt that we are witnessing the most extraordinary and memorable day that there has ever been is Professor Simon Connery of Glasgow's own Institute of Shiny Things.
'This is the most remarkable event in the history of western society,' Connery told me this morning. 'Imagine someone brought out a book entitled Lord Of The 50 Shades of Harry Potter With The Dragon Tattoo and then multiply it by the Bible. That's what we're talking about.'
At the conclusion of the press conference, Lindsay was helped from the podium by medical staff. He was later confirmed to be suffering from Pre-Publication Shock Syndrome, although doctor's predict that he has a greater than 75% chance of making a full recovery.
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