the state of things



by Elvis Shackleton - 11:30 on 06 December 2012

It's tradition around these parts that every Christmas Douglas Lindsay's classic children's tale, The Night Santa Got The Blues, is put up on this website for millions of readers around the world to enjoy, free of charge. On a par with eating mince pies, maxing out on credit cards and watching Jurassic Park, the annual reading of The Night Santa Got The Blues has become something of an institution.

This year, in order to enhance the reading pleasure of his many millions of fans around the snowy-covered globe, rather than posting the story for free online, Lindsay, in association with renegade publishing legends, Blasted Heath, brings you The Night Santa Got The Blues, now re-titled as SANTA'S CHRISTMAS EVE BLUES, for the low, low price of only £0.77/$1.23 on Amazon Kindle.

'Paying for the story, rather than getting it for free, will make the reader connect more intimately with the narrative,' said Blasted Heath staffer Mau-rice Littlejohn.

With some readers questioning the need to spend £0.77 on a short story - even one as epoch-defining as this - when there are full-length novels of the quality of Chris Ewan's SAFE HOUSE available through the same medium for £0.20, others are more than happy to pay under a pound to share in this life-enhancing pageant of literary yuletide magic.

'77 pence!' yelled Tipsy Wynn-Williard from Tunbridge Wells, 'I'd gladly pay £77 for all the pleasure this story has brought me and my many children over the years.'

So what does the paying customer get for their investment:

  • The extraordinary new title, extensively tested and polled throughout the western world, to combine maximum reader satisfaction with optimum search engine searchification.
  • All-new, carefully crafted book blurb, using words such as 'bitesize', 'underwear', 'chocolate' and 'madcap'.
  • An expanded narrative, extending the story from its previous 3,000 words, out beyond the 5,000 mark, making it over 60% longer.
  • New characters, an additional song and new jokes.
  • A special yuletide rendering of Blasted Heath's genre-transcending Blasted Shorts cover.

SANTA'S CHRISTMAS EVE BLUES. It's time to share in the magic.

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