Jenson Button, What Have You Done?

Added on 14 April 2011

The birth of the lad Two of Two has, until the past week, been defined by the fact that he was born in the same hospital as Jenson Button. I used to say that he was born in the same bed, because you never know, the chances aren't that astronomical. When introducing him to new people I'd say, 'This i...

A Descent Into The Sludge of Melancholic Desperation, Angst And Tangled Misanthropic Curmudgeon

Added on 13 April 2011

So, here we are. Mid-school holidays. Kids are engaged, allowing crack Scottish barber serial-killing apocalyptic absurdist thriller writer Douglas Lindsay to write. Something. Anything. However. Brain... not working. Sentences.... will.... not.... formulate. Part of the problem is that the spawn ...

The End of The Bieber Identity

Added on 12 April 2011

Two of Two and I went for a haircut this morning. A father/son bonding experience. I instructed the barber to give the boy a short back & sides, but to leave the Justin Bieber hair flick largely intact. Sadly for Two of Two, only one of these strategic haircutting objectives was met, and the Jus...

A Gigantic Ball of Slow-Moving, Unimaginative Toxic Sludge

Added on 11 April 2011

I spend weeks on holiday desperate to return to work, full of creative beans, itching to get back in front of the computer to spew it all forth; bizarre and fantastical concepts that could fill a raft of Terry Gilliam movies; streams of consciousness to make The Master and Margarita look like a mund...

In A House By The Sea With An Electric Kettle

Added on 09 April 2011

Just back from a week on Exmoor. Well, on the edge of Exmoor. By the sea. In a house with an electric kettle. I like a kettle that sits on the stove and takes a while to boil and then whistles to let you know it's ready, forcing you to be on hand to turn it off. There's an aesthetic involved. Your ...