Lions

Added on 19 June 2010

Bruised and twisted and beaten The giants of Europe lie shattered and bloodied On World Cup fields. Germany, France and Spain, Crushed by apathy or hubris, Wracked by pain. But not the English Lions, Who stride the world stage unbeaten Majestic in defence On their way to World Cup Glory. The high...

He Walks Amongst Us

Added on 18 June 2010

"You are a crapulent oaf!" cried the Mad Hatter. He did not understand Does not speak English so well Making jokes about masturbation As far as anyone can tell. Wearing a grey suit Tailored for expansion He walks through the mansion Of Planet Maradona With shiny flesh not yet Oozing beyon...

The Lonesome Death of Robert Green

Added on 17 June 2010

Robert Green, lonely as an ice cream in winter He smiles as he waits But like us, he already knows his fate. When the team sheet is read, his name will not be on it And like the mosquitoes on the bonnet Of the team bus He will be crushed. His fate is not redemption A penalty saved Or a free kick p...

Sky Sports Don't Have The World Cup

Added on 16 June 2010

Suddenly the Home of Sport, seems empty and bare, as if all the children have gone, and all that's left are the boring mum and the boring dad, reading the Daily Mail, feeling dull and feeling sad. * Tonight Sky Sports are showing international polo, a game once played with horses, ...

Nomination for Mince Advert of the Year (Although it Probably Won't Win)

Added on 15 June 2010

Garnier Range - Nutrisse Radiant Blonde Without Ammonia It's not bad in the way the KitKat cross your fingers advert is bad. It's just.... BAD. Look out for the line: It looks so nourished. Is it just a really crap line, which would be undeliverable by anyone, or is it Davina McCall who's rubbish...