Jessie J, Nobody's Perfect and The End of Civilisation

Added on 04 July 2011

Jessie J first broke into the Hit Parade last year, with a turn of phrase of which Cole Porter would have been proud. When you hear such lines as: Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty sucka You think I can't get hurt like you, you motherfucker and Rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin' money like...

And The Oscar Goes To... The Muppet In The Corner

Added on 01 July 2011

On Wednesday my fellow Crimefest panelist Helen Fitzgerald wrote a blog about having her Oscar acceptance speech prepared and ready, long before having a film produced. I started to leave a comment, and then at some stage realised that my comment was going to be just about longer than her initial bl...

Could Maria Sharapova Just Shut The Fuck Up?

Added on 29 June 2011

Last year we didn't really watch Wimbledon in our house because the World Cup was on at the same time and, despite the fact that the World Cup was played by pouting over-paid theatrical diving wankers in purple shoes, and despite the fact that bizarrely Scotland weren't there, football must...

There Are Always Side Effects

Added on 28 June 2011

It's eight weeks since I ran the marathon, and my leg still hurts. I had it x-rayed to make sure my tibia wasn't cloven in two, which it occasionally feels like, but apparently it's fine. I said, 'No really, it hurts A LOT. It must be at the very least fractured a bit.' The doctor smiled benignly, p...

The Polynesian Goddess Blog

Added on 20 June 2011

Today I smell like a Polynesian goddess. I know, I should be walking through life, ballsy and spunky and full of the kind of face-crushing confidence that only smelling like a Polynesian goddess can give you, yet somehow it's not quite working for me. Yesterday I picked up a bottle of Imperial Leat...