0 Not Out

Added on 20 March 2009

I did that thing last month where I raked though my mum's loft and found lots of things I hadn't seen in twenty years. Books and tapes and Random Rubbish.

I found my little cricket notebook from 1992. I had a notebook, I think, because I was captain of our midweek team. And I was really sad and wanted to keep a record of all my games and statistics. It's a sorry read.

I played for two teams. The main one was called Strathclyde, but it was just a bunch of guys who'd originally met at Strathclyde University, it wasn't representing the entire region. My individual scores for Strathclyde in season 1992 were as follows:

v Helensburgh  5
v Glasgow University Staff  1
v Strathearn 0
v Hyndland 3*
v Glasgow University Staff 0
v Dunlop 1
v North Kelvinside 8*
v Renfrew 2
v Victoria 0*
v Clydesdale 10*

I particularly remember my 0 not out against Victoria as being an innings of consummate and controlled aggression. Overall, it's an impressive run. Tragically my season was cut short when I had to go and live in Belgium for two and a half years, or who knows what heights I could have scaled. 10 innings, 30 runs, 4 not out, batting average 5.

It's no surprise that I still get calls from the England management looking to see if I can come and rescue the test team from self-destruction. I continue to refuse.

You must have been a bowler, you're thinking. Well, no, I wasn't. You get bowlers who can't bat, and batsmen who can't bowl. I was a non-batting bowler who couldn't bowl. Weekend cricket is full of them. My season bowling stats were as follows: 24-4-94-6. That is, at least, a slightly better return than the batting.

I had another team I turned out for in midweek. My scores for them were 3,0,0,4,17 and 2. Average of 4.5.

Happy days.

Must go, the Chairman of Selectors is on the line.