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Sometimes You Just Have To Bite The Antelope On The Arse

03 November 2013

In news that spread like wildfire across the internet yesterday, it was announced by Long Midnight Publishing, in association with Blasted Heath and the Scottish First Minister's Official Doughnut, that Douglas Lindsay - the leading light of the late '90s Barbershop Death Junky Novel movement - is returning to Twitter.

LMP states that by following Lindsay on Twitter, users will be able to:

  • read stuff Lindsay writes, when he writes it
  • that's about it, really

Insiders say that Lindsay already has two followers, and hopes to double this number by the end of the year.

'It's no secret that Lindsay is uncomfortable on Twitter,' says Professor Malcolm Connery, of the Glasgow Institute of Special Things, 'but this time promises to be different. Followers can expect stuff, words, pictures and the occasional bitch-slap with well-known celebrities.'

With Lindsay expected to make the shortlist for next year's Great British Bake Off, and with his latest novel A PLAGUE OF  CROWS already number one in over ninety-five countries worldwide, experts expect Lindsay to crack the elusive 10 followers barrier by autumn 2015.

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