The Ever-Increasing Curse of 2012

Added on 08 September 2009

2012, as a year, will likely come and go, and no one will notice any more than you would during a normal year. Unless the upcoming motion picture event, 2012, starring John Cusack has got it pegged, in which case we’re all going to die.

If the world is going to end and we really are all going to die in 2012, you can already see how this will be handled by the British media. Either:

World To End In June 2012: Boris Says Planet-Wide Annihilation Will Not Affect ‘Best Ever’ Olympics

or

World To End In October 2012: GB Gold Medal Rush Still On The Cards

There is barely a piece of news in Britain which isn’t now told in terms of how it affects the 2012 Olympics; and any commentator or reporter covering an Olympic sport is apoplectic with excitement about this event which is only three years away. At the recent World Athletic Championships where Usain Bolt ran faster than a Ferrari, you wouldn’t have known that there would be another World Championship in two years’ time. Every sentence contained the words, “Yes, Steve, and in 2012...” The next three years of anyone’s life will have no meaning whatsoever, they are merely a long gestation period leading up to the two and a half most expensive weeks in British history.

Tessa Jowell, Lord Coe, the bin men, everyone is saying that these are going to be the “best Olympics ever”. In all seriousness, how in the name of God are they going to do that?

Take Beijing, for example. Now the Chinese may not be the Human Rights Poster Children for the modern world, but they could throw money and resources at an Olympic games like no one else. They needed a stadium built; they said, here, you 75,000 Chinese people, build that stadium. We’re not going to pay you and we don’t care if you all die while you’re working, but you will bring honour to your families.

Try that in Britiain. Bugger off. I hate my family.

Beijing: They spent around $40billion, it looked good on tv, the facilities were excellent, they were tonnes of world records broken, the athlete’s village was great, infrastructure was fine, the fireworks were incredible, and David Beckham kicked a ball off a bus.

How exactly is London going to beat that? Perhaps Becks can kick a ball off his wife’s teeth.

The British media... You don’t just think they’re building it up....so that they can knock it back down again?

It would be best if everyone just shut up and got on with it. And when the organising committee are asked what they think it’s going to be like, they could say, Hopefully it’ll go well, there will be no major problems and we won’t go over budget. Yes, says the media man, but is it going to be the best Olympics ever? I'm not sure, Lord Coe will respond, let’s just hope it’s not shite.

London 2012: Aiming Not To Be Shite.

That’s more realistic, isn’t it?