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Wrestling A Doughnut

30 October 2008

I came across a phrase yesterday I’d never heard before. It’s like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t stop when you’re tired, you stop when the gorilla’s tired. I put it into Google, and it appears to be this incredibly well known phrase, not quite up there with you can take a horse to water but you can’t make him sink, but certainly more popular than you can feed your baby to the shark but it doesn’t mean the shark isn’t also going to eat you.

Most of the articles you find when entering wrestling a gorilla into Google, start with the sentence I came across a phrase yesterday I’d never heard before, and then go on to extol the virtues of this dumb-ass phrase as if it had some merit. But seriously, it’s like wrestling a gorilla? What is like wrestling a gorilla? Life, and all it’s various aspects, just plain aren’t like wrestling a dumb-ass gorilla. As a phrase indicating permanent but non-life threatening struggle, it’s just rubbish. Now if you are ever on a plane and it suddenly goes into a steep descent and the pilot comes over the intercom and says, ‘Well, folks, we’re in a bit of a nose dive here. What can I say? To be honest, it’s like wrestling a gorilla. It won’t last long, and at the end of it you’ll probably be dead,’ that might make a bit more sense.

Yesterday when I put it into Google there were 12,900 entries. This morning there were 13,700. That’s an exponential, overnight explosion. All over the planet people are writing about this stupid phrase. And now there are 13,701.

I heard this phrase because someone had put it on a job application to TPCKAM’s office, as if this is the credo by which they live their life. Nice idea, and I’m going to use it from now on every time I apply for anything. Just need to find the right phrase.

It’s like eating a doughnut. You don’t stop when you’re tired, you stop when all that’s left is the hole in the middle.

Great relief in political circles in Poland yesterday when my banjo was delivered and I didn’t have to call for the expulsion of Poland from the EU. I had this great thought that rather than write a blog this morning, that what I’d do was video myself playing a wee tune on the banjo, stick it on YouTube, embed it into the blog.

Hmm, nice idea, you’re thinking, but isn’t that a bit like wrestling a mongoose? It’s the modern way to celebrate mediocrity, but sticking a video of myself playing the banjo on YouTube at this stage would have been celebrating complete and utter atrocity. Some things are best left un-YouTubed. So I didn’t do it.

Another long day of school holiday lies ahead. It’ll be like wrestling something, but I just can’t think what.

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