A School Show & More Covers

Added on 27 February 2009

Newly escaped from Two of Two's once-a-term concert. Forty minutes of kids singing and playing a variety of musical instruments. Parent Hell.

There's a sign on the door as you enter which reads: This is what you get for deciding to have children.

Either my expectations had slipped or it wasn't as awful as the previous time. Two of Two played the trumpet for 5.7 seconds, and obviously stole the show. He's had four lessons. By the next show we'll be looking for a full rendition of In The Mood of Mac The Knife. Not that we're pushy parents.

In a change to the previous event programme, the teacher asked if I'd like to do a couple of numbers with him. The deal nearly broke down over my demands to have my own dressing room, a massage from a Mum Of My Choice, and a fee of $3.5m paid into a solvent bank, anywhere in the world, (if there is one left.) We played a jig, followed by the great Scottish blues epic, Can't Get The Blues, a song written in the 1920's by legendary Glasgow bluesman, Blind Wullie McGlumpha. Thirty seconds into the song, one of the kids started clapping along, everyone joined in, and from then on we could relax and play in the full knowledge that no one could hear any mistakes, of which mine were legion. The poor kids had had to perform under a deathly silent spotlight.

Afterwards I had to rush from the classroom under a hail of autograph requests and women's knickers.

In the real world, here are another few potential book covers. These actually pre-date the ones from earlier in the week. I initially rejected the grim looking monk and the fish with the blue background, but will gladly listen to opinions, if anyone would like to comment: