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Coming Soon - Barney Thomson Book 9 - CURSE OF THE CLOWN

02 March 2020

These are dark times for the world. Coronavirus sweeps the earth. Economies are in turmoil. Traditional politics – never great to begin with – are being cast aside, and we are witness to a 1930s-esque rise of the dictators. War is upon us, climate catastrophe not far behind. It is the complete opposite of Game of Thrones’ herald of impending doom, ‘Winter is coming’; in reality, winter is no more. Spring started in late December, clocking in as autumn packed its bags. Polar ice is melting, the climate changing irreparably, and catastrophe waits in the wings, poised to unleash an apocalypse of which the writers of the Bible could only dream.

And so what of a ninth Barney Thomson novel in such times? In truth, it doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. Few are those who will notice or celebrate its coming. Nevertheless, we all have our part to play in these last few days of human civilisation, and mine is to write Barney Thomson books.

Perhaps future generations, stumbling through the remnants of our lost world, will come upon a Barney Thomson novel, and they will pass it amongst themselves, and they will say, What the actual fuck?

This, then, is CURSE OF THE CLOWN, the ninth book of the Barney Thomson trilogy. Release date is 23rd March 2020. The ebook can be pre-ordered by clicking on the image at the bottom; the paperback is not yet available for order, but will come ere the hounds of damnation are unleashed upon the earth. Or a day or two before publication date, whichever comes first.
 

via GIPHY

CURSE OF THE CLOWN

It’s all fun and games until somebody loses a penis.

A fiendish, fell figure, face painted like a demonic clown, emerges from the Scottish barbershop community, murder in mind, revenge to take, havoc to wreak. The first to fall is an old customer, then the diabolical Koiffing Klown turns his attention to the barbers.

In ones and twos they gather at the annual Scottish barbershop convention in Perthshire, unaware a maniacal monster lurks in their midst. Among them is Barney Thomson, mild-mannered hairdressing genius, cursed to walk the earth in the company of butchers, ne’er-do-wells and psychopaths.

As the killer strikes, then strikes again and again, with every swipe of the razor he comes one step closer to Barney and the men of the Millport tonsorium. Penises are severed, blood is spilled, and screams bounce from wall to wall, echoing impotently into the night…

CURSE OF THE CLOWN, the ninth book in the Barney Thomson series, is the most gruesomely hilarious yet.

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