Suddenly the Home of Sport,

seems empty and bare,

as if all the children have gone,

and all that's left are the boring mum and the boring dad,

reading the Daily Mail, feeling dull and feeling sad.

                                  *  

Tonight Sky Sports are showing international polo,

a game once played with horses,

using the head of a slaughtered virgin for a ball.

                                 

Now there are no more virgins,

and Sky Sports have the television rights.

                                     *

Some say Andy Gray is working for Fox

as a World Cup analyst;

some say he's sitting at home, just getting pissed.

Commentating on his wife

Making dinner.

 

Surely, Martin, she's got to make potatoes with that...