This Blasted Life

Added on 10 November 2011

I've got a new blog starting today. You're probably thinking, Holy Shitbucket of Death, Batman, how exciting is that?!

Well, it's kind of going to be pretty much the same kind of stuff that I've been writing for the last nine years. On the plus side, however, I think we're all agreed that the last nine years on barney-thomson.com have seen some of the best comic writing since Tolstoy's first draft of War and Peace.

This Blasted Life starts today over at blastedheath.com. It will come out every Thursday, from now until the end of time. (Or until the uber-controllers at Blasted Heath HQ decide they'd get more laughs if they asked Katie Price to write the column.) Meanwhile, the general leftovers and detritus and occasional book plug will appear on this page. Kind of a This Blasted Life Confidential. Except I won't be explaining how I wrote that week's column, and it will be completely different stuff, so in fact, not This Blasted Life Confidential at all.

Here's a brief excerpt from the first episode of This Blasted Life, And His Name That Sat On Him Was Daytime TV Advertising. You can read the full thing here.

The Desperate for Cash ads however, drop down into the bottom half of the Top Ten Of Execrable Awfulness when compared to the Cash To Waste ads or the Sitting On Your Arse With Nothing To Do ads. For example, UniformDating.com has been dredged from the depths of a particularly pungent stagnant well, and is the kind of indulgent, crapulent bollocks that comes to plague societies with too much time on their hands.

A society that tolerates something as abhorrent as UniformDating.com deserves to be crushed and buried beneath the burning clusterfuck of death spewed forth by the lava of cultural retribution.